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Friday, August 24, 2012

Paradigm Shift

" Hey ! 
 Love you so much !  Itni yaad aa rahi hai na but 1500 ki party dene ke baad jeb halki ho gayi hai so can't call you so writing this mail to you. Raat ko daru party . I too drank some abhi tak hang but aapko bataya na hazzar main bhi was lonely i knew all these guys were extolling me for my job not me, my daru not me. Andar se they were jealous which many puked when they have wine flowing in their bellies

Why can't one trust or love somebody without expectations. samjh mein nahi aata. Meri class girls never talked to me in 4 years. Total cumulative time agar lagao to 10 mins hardly and they want a partyu in Haldwani Woodpecker. Maine kaha bhaad main jao.

Baki sab worse, mission CAT is back. kal shayad party ho century main dekhte hain. Kal aapki bhi chutti hai na. miss kar raha hun aapko sach main. love u.

[ Hey ! Love you so much ! Missing you beyond expressions but after spending 1500 rupees in party no money is left to call you so writing this mail. Yesterday night had booze party. I too drank, still hangover but I told you na that I was alone even in that crowd for I knew all these guys were extolling me for my job not me, my booze party not me. Inside they were all jealous which many puked when wine flowing in their bellies. 

I can't understand why can't one trust or love somebody without expectations. Girls of my class never talked to me in 4 years, if we calculate total cumulative, it was hardly 10 minutes and they all want party in Haldwani Woodpecker. I said, go to hell. 

Rest everything is worse, mission CAT is back. Tomorrow may be will have party in century, lets see. also have off tomorrow... Trust me missing you so much. Love you. 

Anu ]

This was the Anubhav she knew Five years back. Shy, introvert, not sure about himself and unaware of his worth. He aspired to be a software engineer and wanted to make it in IIT but apart from all the struggles to get through he was termed as Khurp ( They used to call Khurp to the B.Tech Agriculture students in his university). He was Studying but never with a zeal. It was final year and Companies were coming for campus recruitments and he was same with no desire to come out of his shell. Finally the destiny was not that rude, he got a chance and its not just he got a chance, it was a chance for her too, to ensure him that she trusts him for what he is...and she was sure he would make it when he still didn't have any faith left within. Very few companies came forward to recruit B.Tech. Agriculture and his name was short listed for Mahindra and Mahindra. 

He was nervous, often used to ask her if she was sure about him or not ? ..and she was as usual ready with the same confident smile giving confirmation that yes she is sure. The echo of his voice still travels through her ear drums when he called her just after the campus selection. It was at 2pm and  she was serving her lunch at Hostel Mess. She was the first one to whom he told about his achievement. She was extremely happy for getting answers of her prayers and her trust and faith in him. He was original and genuine the way he expressed his all true emotions to her at that point of time. She could still feel the warmth of his words and was actually touched. she was happy for herself too  her assessment for him as a growing individual was not wrong. It was happiness in true sense.

 He had grown professionally. Tiring working hours and long list of targets were making him indifferent for the emotions and feelings a human being is supposed to possess and which he used to cherish within, just two years back. He was not even aware but he was slowly going away from the truth of his soul. 

After having 3 years of extensive work experience he managed to get in one of the top management colleges.  Corporate sector was experiencing extreme recession that time. It was tough to be placed  in a good company even for summer training.  He made it in a well known cell phone company. This time he did not make any call to anybody not even to her. He was leaving everything behind during his growing up process. He used to be a human but now a professional. She made a usual phone call in the evening and to her surprised he picked up, " Guess what....I have made it, in a well known cell phone company :) " She was again happy with all her purity but a bit surprised  "and you didn't even tell me" and his reply was so casual "....yea I made it day before yesterday only. I am so sorry, I just forgot to tell you, I could have called you yesterday itself but I forgot." 
Holding the cell phone, she was freezed alone in the middle of the road. Vehicle were passing around and suddenly thoughts went back to his first campus selection when she was the first one to be informed and he was feeling lonely among the crowd of 1000 guys around him. Time has been changed now, so as his expression of celebrating his growing self. Now he has learned to be the part of those thousand boys and their fake smiles as that provide him a networking to grow further in corporate sector.

Its hardly makes a difference to him that even today a true soul celebrates his every single achievement as a festival of happiness and joy, no matter even if she is the last one to be informed, or not to be informed at all.

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